50 THINGS I LEARNED FROM A YOUTUBE VIDEO THAT I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEARNED.

Let me start out by saying I refuse to apologize for posting the video informing the public about the fact the world is in a battle with cannibal-magic-alien-giant-human-animal-devil worshiping mutants that want to open the gates of space-hell and make true the dream of Obama and Nazi super clones... or something. I have this habit of finding strange and bizarre pseudo-science videos because to tell you the truth, I find them entertaining(1). However, I came across this video and this specific example has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever posted to date.  BUT IT WAS SO ENTERTAINING I LISTENED TO IT TWICE!  I usually post funny memes and promote books, but I had to make time to do this. To unleash this knowledge upon the community. Do NOT watch this if you do not want to be submerged in two grown men trying to out-babble each other about complete drivel and the highest spectrum of weirdness and fear-mongering that is surrounded by a colorful interpretation of Christianity  and reality. Long story short: the world is in a battle with cannibal-magic-alien-giant-human-animal-devil worshiping mutants that want to open the gates of space-hell and make true the dream of Obama and Nazi super clones. At least that’s what I’m getting out of it. The video is below. WARNING! PREPARE TO FORGET THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD.

50 things I learned from this program: Cannibal giants in the caves of Afghanistan ate five American soldiers. God does not allow inter-species mingling. There are accurate historical accounts of people who were 36 feet tall. The United States intelligence committee puts real events in science fiction and horror movies so people won’t believe they really happen. There was a battle in the south Atlantic between the Nazis and U.S. forces that was halted when they found ancient technology and weapons under the ice of Antarctica and a truce was formed to divide the spoils of the treasure between the major governments of the world. The CERN particle accelerator is not designed to make miniature black holes, but a gateway for which demons and monsters can enter through and cause all sorts of shenanigans. It also has an image of the god Shiva, the destroyer of worlds above the doorway. Stargates are real. The government has weaponized our food. The devil worshippers and Masons rule the governments of the world. Giants can change their size, and live on in suspended animation under the ancient structures of the world. The head of the U.S. space command has admitted we have interstellar warships in space, and they can go faster than the speed of light. The movie “Alien vs. Predator” was based on real events. Trans-humanism is the genetic manipulation of human DNA to make animal-people, and it is the work of the devil. Electro-pollution makes people dumb. “Obama” means ‘fallen one’ and “America” means ‘land of the feathered serpent.’ “Razor-wire” of the mind is a real weapon and it’s totally real for sure. It is common knowledge that triangular-shaped U.F.O.‘s are really U.S. aircraft and should not be confused with flying saucers. Buddhists worship the devil. World leaders sacrifice children to giants. The biblical book of Enoch is only a small fraction of over 250 books that are hidden because of the technology described therein. Plasma-screen laptops that do not require electricity were around in the 1960’s. Obama swore to reverse Mexico’s abortion stance. Devil-vision promotes double-vision. 9/11 was a large-scale human sacrifice to appease trans-dimensional satanic luciferic who were gods-aliens that came from space, hybridized with humans and made giants. 4-star generals know the fastest way to get murdered: talk about stargates and alien technology. Aliens are fallen angels. Alien abductions can be thwarted by invoking Jesus. A young man is sacrificed on a golden alter in the Vatican every Friday. World leaders are really clones designed to worship the devil. Astrophysicists report an audible ‘roar’ coming from the center of the universe. God will use an atom bomb to sink Briton. The quantum array that is inside a U.S.A.F. base deep in Colorado is controlled by the Obamessiah. World leaders have been lied to by the devil and were promised life-extending technology and rides in spaceships to do his nasty bidding. The demon Azazel is a starfleet trooper. The “Hercules gene” comes from jackals and is spliced with human DNA to make super-strong humans, and the character “the Hulk” is part of a disinformation campaign. German giants killed 34,000 Roman soldiers. Giants are super-fast, super-strong, and have nasal-pharyngeal passages that produces audible harmonics that allow them to change the atomic structure of matter to lift stones that are thousands of tons. However, smoke confuses them. In order to fight giants, you need pure copper-tipped ammunition (12 gauge or 50 caliber rounds), and you have to cut their heads off. Cheyenne Wyoming, Iceland and Greenland have underground ‘incubatariums’ where giants are grown from embryos. And if you say that is not true “you’re just wrong.” China is the most satanic nation on the planet. The Nazis primary goal was to extract DNA from giants sleeping under the ice of Antarctica. The U.S. military fights bloody battles with giants in the crust of the Earth on a regular basis. Mormons have a human sacrifice chamber in every tabernacle. All cannibalism can be traced back to giants. During world war II, the Japanese were accused of eating dead U.S. soldiers. Nope. It was giants. Anyone can do simple online research and discover that most U.S. military bases are just staging areas for mass human sacrifices to appease the devil’s thirst for fresh blood. If you are a pagan, Jesus himself will visit you in the flesh and make you an expert on the devil’s global conspiracy. Native American history include reports of cannibal giants with the names of biblical demons. Celtic giants were not as tough as German giants. The death ray is a hand-held weapon that burns the target with an 11-million degree ball of plasma that moves at the speed of light. “The Nutri-Medical Report” is not about healthy eating. Did I miss anything?  Add your own findings in the comments! May God have mercy on our souls. (1) To Mr. Steve Quayle's credit, I have been listening to his YouTube content for years. I marvel at how GOOD of a storyteller he is, even if the subjects and topics of those stories are highly questionable.

Ape Inspiration

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Submission from Jessica McLaughlin

23. Absurdly FountainWords: Diabolic freakish hunchback highway buffet mysterious heartbeat.

"On the highway travelling to the mysterious buffet, I noticed I was merely a heartbeat away from a diabolic freakish hunchback."

Thank you for your submission Jessica!

Submission by Jessica McLaughlin:

24. Unreasonably Gushing

Words: Uptown milky advocate ensnare baloney exorcism consider liberating.

"Some might consider it unreasonably liberating but the only way to ensnare that uptown milky baloney is to be a gushing advocate for exorcism."

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENTRY! This is the most random thing we've seen yet. WE LOVE IT!

Submission by Ron
Chaospiration 2: Claw Hear

Words: HYENA WEB MISSING FISTFIGHT SERPENT OFFICER BAZOOKA DIPLOMAT FIERY DUSK.

At dusk, a hyena went missing after a fistfight with a serpent named, "Bazooka." The hyena then became a Russian diplomat and made love to a fiery officer of the deep web.

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Chaospirations Challenge

1: Compartment Explanation

Thanks for the entry!

Anonymous wrote: Words: Alcoholic property for sleep barbarian shake. Undersea, bulldozer delicious military felon.

In the undersea laboratory, Rod Bercham toiled on the infernal wiring of the mass spectrometer.  The machine was lovingly known as ‘the barbarian’ to the white coats, because of its uncanny ability to scrape the hands of the analysis crew when depositing and removing samples of methane hydrate, leaving a gash one’s gloves that made the newbies wonder if the apparent yet small safety hazard was placed there on purpose as a gag. Rod cursed at his own big fingers as they fumbled through the wiring.  If he could just shake loose the connection on the far end of the cabinet under the main housing, he’d be done in 15 minutes.  He drove his fist through the wiring like a tiny bulldozer made of fist, twisting and lurching toward his goal.  Since the mass spectrometer was property of the U.S. Navy, Rod made sure to ease back before he did any more damage by trying to fix it. But time was short, for there was still a sample in the chamber, and a small cadre of lab nerds hovering over the lower portion of his body trying to peek into the cabinet where the rest of Rod was. 

“Have you got it yet?” chirped Dale the intern.  He didn’t deserve a last name yet.

Rod’s response slightly echoed out from the cabinet opening “When I get it you’ll know. You’ll know because I’ll be done.”

“Well we need to get that hydrate out of the chamber before it starts to sublime.” Dale countered.

“I know.  I’m the one in here, remember? Go file something Dale and get me Dr. Carson.” Rod dismissed Dales attempt to preach to the choir but he knew the kid was right.  That a solid that really wants to turn into gas at room temperature was now stuck in a sealed chamber and warming up with every second meant the clock was ticking to get that damn wire.  Rod knew that the small amount of methane gas produced wouldn’t do much damage overall, but if the chamber ruptured it could present them with a small explosion; like blowing up a ladyfinger under a solo cup, but the cup in this case is underwater and represents the portholes of the underwater facility. He couldn’t risk it. He had lucked into this job because someone didn’t notice or failed to do a thorough enough background check to find that Rod was an active alcoholic. And today he was sweating out the bourbon under the cabinet.  He drank just enough to get his ass in trouble if the things went south today.  Pressure was building in the chamber by the second, and Rod felt that pressure in his chest.  Fix the machine and get the hell to the break room, or it blows possibly compromising the pressure systems in the facility that were keeping an ocean’s worth of water outside. Or it could just slightly explode and unrepairable.  In which case it would trigger the company to file an accident report, and subsequent urinalysis; in which the results may as well say ‘felon’.  It didn’t matter whose fault it was that the barbarian went down, the drunk is always negligent, and therefore perpetually under the bus.  The sweat on his brow slid down his nose as he finally reached his goal. He popped the wire out of its housing. 

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